Know What I Mean?!?!

 So, here I am at camp with the youth from our church. Went to service in the chapel last night totally ready to get my Jesus on. And then it happen. The speaker drops a truth bomb that really made me think and kind of shook me. His  words were, “If  you are a worrier, then you’re acting as an atheist.”  Well bro, ouch. Why does it hurt so bad? Probably because I was currently sitting there  with a daunting worry of my own. My thoughts and my concerns were consumed by this one task that I am truly afraid of.  If anybody knows me, you know that I’m a control freak. I like to plan out a day and know what’s coming next so that I can prepare myself for whatever is to come. That’s pretty much the opposite of faith. God called us to truly trust Him and sit back and relax knowing that He has our back. It’s super hard for me to do. My insecurities jump out and my fear of looking like a fool or looking like a less than I am it’s flashing bright as an alert to me. ...

First of all, let me say....MAMA’S HOME! Ha! Man, I haven’t blogged in a minute! But God has been gently reminding me how therapuetic it is to me and how you just never know if someone else needs to hear your thoughts. If you know anything about me, you know to put on your seat belt because most of the things swimming around in my head are super random and/or straight out of some interesting situations and circumstances I find myself in. This blog, however, comes from a current struggle of mine. I wonder if any others find themselves in the same cycle... So lately I have just felt like I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I committed myself to a task that needed much attention and “care” (these are the nicest words I can say about it at this time), and it left me empty, frusterated, tired, and disappointed in myself. When I sat and evaluated my life, the things that I love about myself and the things that I feel make me happy were absent. I really had to stop and take a hard...

   I just wanted to give a shout out to my friends today. I have some great friends. Some of my friends I haven't seen in way too long, but I love that our conversations pick up like we have never been apart. Some of my friends I have the joy of seeing more occasionally, and I love that we can share our laughter, our encouragement and our dance parties together. Either way, I have some great friends.    At the moment, I have a lot of friends who are hurting. You should know I share your emotions with you. Even though I know I can not possibly feel what you are feeling, my heart hurts for you. And do know this... I won't stop praying till I see a change in your life. You have now entered my circle of prayer and I continue to not only pray this season to pass, but I will thank God for you and the times that you put me in your prayer circle.   The fact is, we have all had our good times, but we have also seen or get ready cause you will see, a low. If...

Oneness and unity?!? What is having "oneness"? These are words that today's society does not promote, let alone hardly know the definition of. In fact, it's very popular now to "be your own self" and to "be an individual, not a copy of someone else". Competition thrives in today's work place and sometimes even in the church. And the whole time, God is still calling us to "Oneness". Ephesians 4:4-6 You were all called to travel on the same road and in the same direction, so stay together, both outwardly and inwardly. You have one Master, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who rules over all, works through all, and is present in all. Everything you are and think and do is permeated with Oneness. I was challenged to look at a busy intersection and notice the flow of the cars. The thing that caught my attention was the fact that there are two directions the cars were traveling. Duh, right? On one side of the road the cars ...

You know how things come in seasons?! Wow...I have never recalled having such a season as the one I am in. It feels like there are SHOCKERS left and right. In every area of my life, I have had some major shockers that include my job being rocked, friends suddenly passing away or moving. It just feels like one blow after another!! Now I sit back and look on the past months and it seems all I see is rubble and destruction from what was there. I feel I am left to pick up all this mess. However, I do know that the last sentence is where my insanity cycle would probably begin to take action again. I always feel like I have to do something; like I have to take action. And that is probably a true statement. However, I have always taken action by trying to fix the problem. Well, I am not gonna do that this time. I am going to take action by relaxing and trusting in God. I will not short-change Him this time. He is God and He will fix it all. Even though I see a mess right now, I will choose to...

It's doesn't happen very often, but it does happen. It could be at the workplace, a friends house...or even at church. Someone cracks a joke or makes a comment about you that hits too close to home. All the sudden every insecurity comes up. Questions come to the surface like, "Do you people really see me like that?" You thought you could trust people?! Many feeling soon follow. You suddenly feel ashamed, confused, sad and hurt. Everyone has or will feel this at one time or another. And let me either agree with you or warn you...it sucks. Its no fun. Good thing that God doesn't see you like man or the world sees you. Is that easy to accept in the moment of hurt? No. But it is reassurance that things won't always be this way. God has bigger plans for us. God has a better home for us where there will be no hurt words or actions of others. We will be whole and healed from all the world's junk. I was recently hurt and wasn't sure what to do with it. All I ...

I was given such the privilege to meet an incredible woman of God this past weekend. I'm talking a divine meeting. God spoke so much to me through this woman as she shared her heart and vision. Her words spoke to my core and enlightened me greatly. One of the things that hit me hard was when she spoke about the "reap what you sow" method. She shared how she chose to put herself and her self-care behind the needs of others. For legit reasons, she chose the needs of her children and her widowed mother before making her scheduled health appointments. Soon after, she was hit with the difficult news that she had stage 4 breast cancer. I was shocked and saddened as she shared this with me and the other women present, but it was her next sentence that woke me up. She shared that now it was the same people that she chose to take care of before herself that was having to help her up the stairs and comfort her. In that moment I thought, "How selfish am I to not take care of m...