Know What I Mean?!?!

What do you do when you feel rejected? What do you do when you feel that those closest to you do you wrong or push you aside? Unfortunately, that’s going to happen to everyone of us. During this time on earth, you and me both are going to experience the hurt, disappointment, and sadness that comes with feeling like you’re not good enough or you’re not needed. If there’s any painful feeling, this feeling of rejection is raw. It reaches down to the core of us and hits a nerve that makes it hard to recover. It’s almost like a blow to the gut.  So where do you go from here? Well, logically I see only a couple answers to that question. First one being, I guess you could punch them in the throat. As ratchet and hood rat as my inner self wants to be, I don’t feel like answering the wrong with another wrong is the answer. Even though anger is my first response usually, when all is said, it’s really my feelings that are just hurt.  Though I don’t agree with this response to rejection eithe

 So, here I am at camp with the youth from our church. Went to service in the chapel last night totally ready to get my Jesus on. And then it happen. The speaker drops a truth bomb that really made me think and kind of shook me. His  words were, “If  you are a worrier, then you’re acting as an atheist.”  Well bro, ouch. Why does it hurt so bad? Probably because I was currently sitting there  with a daunting worry of my own. My thoughts and my concerns were consumed by this one task that I am truly afraid of.  If anybody knows me, you know that I’m a control freak. I like to plan out a day and know what’s coming next so that I can prepare myself for whatever is to come. That’s pretty much the opposite of faith. God called us to truly trust Him and sit back and relax knowing that He has our back. It’s super hard for me to do. My insecurities jump out and my fear of looking like a fool or looking like a less than I am it’s flashing bright as an alert to me. But today I  choose to belie

First of all, let me say....MAMA’S HOME! Ha! Man, I haven’t blogged in a minute! But God has been gently reminding me how therapuetic it is to me and how you just never know if someone else needs to hear your thoughts. If you know anything about me, you know to put on your seat belt because most of the things swimming around in my head are super random and/or straight out of some interesting situations and circumstances I find myself in. This blog, however, comes from a current struggle of mine. I wonder if any others find themselves in the same cycle... So lately I have just felt like I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I committed myself to a task that needed much attention and “care” (these are the nicest words I can say about it at this time), and it left me empty, frusterated, tired, and disappointed in myself. When I sat and evaluated my life, the things that I love about myself and the things that I feel make me happy were absent. I really had to stop and take a hard